It took me a moment to understand the question from the farmer at my local market. I had just told her that I was heading to Australia soon for work for a whole month! First I thought she was asking whether my partner was going too. But as I quickly got it we had a good laugh together. I agreed it was a real danger that I might go alone, leaving my sanity behind as I slide into busyness preparing to leave!

I am trying hard to continue my regular practice of meditation. I do know it makes a difference to how well I cope with stressful circumstances, with too much to do. I know meditation helps to settle my nervous system, helps my grasshopper brain to rest in place long enough to complete a task, avoid hopping from one activity to the next as anxiety sweeps me away. Even though I know the value, I can still catch myself in the “not enough time” story, the one that says I must get straight to work, no spare seconds for sitting today!

So I had to laugh when the next farmer I spoke to told me about her meditation practice. I just asked about her holiday. First she told me she was trying to bring a holiday spirit to her work each day. Then she told me about her mediation practice, followed by writing in a gratitude journal. Now I know that she is super busy. She runs a large farm, they recently expanded, and she has many extra workers in the summer. She grows sprouts and greens all year. As if that is not enough she has a teenage son too. So I know she feels pressure to get it all done.

But she told me she gets up at 5 a.m. to have the time to sit before others are making demands of her. She said sometimes she sits for 10 minutes, though she aims for 20 when she can. The key for me was when she said: “I have to do it. I can see the difference, I’m less reactive. It’s better for the everyone on the farm, better for my son.”

Yes, I thought, it’s a good reminder. If I’m going to bring all of myself to my work in Australia sitting is a priority, while I am there, and as I prepare. I want to be ready, with my sanity, my wisdom gained from so many relationships and so many people’s experience. As I prepare my resources I’ve been thinking a lot about mindfulness. For without full presence, not only are we individually lost (likely to be reactive, stressed, wound up, or numb), but also our calm energy is not available to connect with any others we may hope to support.

I often get frustrated when people want to talk about resilience instead of the impacts of violence. I agree that resilience is important. But I insist that it is relationship, connection, that builds resilience. So if we want others to have resilience then we had better be available to connect with them, connected to our own selves and our sanity, fully present to build the sort of relationship that heals. For me mindfulness really is the foundation of everything!